Road Rage
by Happy Goddess of Death
Summary: The G-Boys go on a road trip... no plot. Lots o craziness.


Disclaimer: Gundam Wing is not mine Gundam Wing is not mine Gundam Wing is not mine Gundam Wing is not mine... oh and Sailor Moon is not mine either.  
  
Author's Note: hmmmm... should I even try to make up excuses for my insanity? Nah.... just a warning... this becomes a little 4X3, 2X5 VERY suddenly near the end... so if you don't like that stuff, either ignore the end or just don't read the fic, k?   
  
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Road Rage with the G-Boys  
  
"Come here little one... Don't be afraid..." The voice whispered in a soft, assuring tone. "It's alright... I'll protect you..." Gentle, comforting arms surrounded him as he gazed into the face from which the voice came. This was his soul mate... he was sure of it.  
  
"KISAMA!!!"   
  
Quatre woke up to the all too familiar sounds of a Duo-Fei fight.  
  
"STOP PLAYING WITH MY HAIR BAKA!!!"   
  
"Well if you didn't put it in such *playful* rattail, maybe I wouldn't be so *tempted*!"  
  
"ARRRGGGG!!! LEAVE MY RATTAIL ALONE!!!"  
  
"Fine then.... SHEESH... I'm soooooo bored! Hee-chan, are we there yet?"  
  
A monotone, almost exasperated voice came from the driver's seat. "If you ask one more time, Duo, I'll throw you out of the car myself."  
  
"*SNORT*"  
  
"Well at least I wouldn't have to be in such a sweaty, crowded SUV.... man, I'd rather be in the Wufeimobile then here..."  
  
"HEY!!! AT LEAST I HAVE A CAR, MAXWELL!!!"   
  
The size of the vein on Wu-fei's head told Quatre that this fight must have been going on for a while as he was flying in lala land with his soul mate. He looked from the infuriated Wu-fei sitting in the passenger's seat to mischievous smile of Duo beside him. "Do you guys have to fight now?"  
  
Suddenly, Duo was bouncing in his seat pointing at something out the window. "Hey! Look look look! 'The World's Biggest Doughnut'.... We have to stop here Hee-chan! Can we? PLLLLLEEEEEEAAAASSSSSSEE???"  
  
"Not until you come off this high you're on. Until then, no sugar for you."  
  
"awwwwwwww...."  
  
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[several hours later]  
  
Duo:" *singing* My baloney has a first name... It's S-H-I-N-I-G-"  
  
Heero:"Duo, omae o korosu. *death glare*"  
  
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[some more hours later]  
  
Duo:*crack, Crack, CRack, CRAck, CRACk, CRACKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK*  
  
Quatre:"Duo, must you crack your knuckles like that?"  
  
Wu-fei:"Oh dear Nataku.... please give me the strength to endure...*mutter mutter mutter*"  
  
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[even more hours later]  
  
Wu-feiZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ  
  
Heero:"Duo, where's the map?"ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ  
  
Duo:"What?"ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ  
  
Heero:"Where's the map?"ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ  
  
Duo:"I can't hear you!"ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ  
  
Heero:"I SAID, WHERE'S THE MAP?!!!"ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ  
  
Duo:"Oh, Wu-man has it."ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ...   
  
Wu-fei:"*SNORT SNORT* Wha-? Map? No... you have it Maxwell..."  
  
Duo:"No... you have it Wu-man..."  
  
Wu-fei:"Oh for the love of Nataku... I GAVE IT TO YOU JUST BEFORE WE LEFT!"  
  
Duo:"Oh yeah... that's right.. I put it in my bag... ummmm... the one I left at home...^.;"  
  
[Sudden tire screeches and the car stops]   
  
Heero: *sits hunched over at the wheel*  
  
***********************************************************************  
[Tense moments of silence later]  
  
Quatre: ummmmm... Remember that whole positive thinking issue we talked about Heero? Well, I think this is one of those times when it can really have benifi-  
  
Heero: *suddenly leaves car and walks out of sight*  
  
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[More tense moments of silence later]  
  
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM  
*huge explosion seen in the distance*  
*little speck seen bouncing away from explosion cackling maniacally*  
  
Duo: Wow... I always knew he'd snap one day...  
  
Wu-fei: THAT'S IT!!! I'M GOING TO GET OUT OF THIS HELL HOLE!!! *scrambles to driver's seat*  
  
Duo: Hey! Better watch what you say in front of The Great Shini... WHAT TH-?  
  
[With Wu-fei's quick press of a button the SUV starts to transform. It becomes a black, sleek car with jet engines and shark fin-like projectiles sticking out of the back. The front of the car sports a new dragon design and the seats become covered in red fake fur.]  
  
Quatre: There really is a Wufeimobile???  
  
Duo: *bouncing in seat* Man, I wish I knew it would be like this! It's SOOOO COOOOLLL!!!  
  
Quatre: But do you have to drive so fast, Wu-fei?  
  
Wu-fei: *hunched over wheel* SHUT UP! I'M DRIVING!  
  
Duo: WHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE...  
  
Quatre: Shouldn't you at least put on your seat belt, Duo?  
  
Duo: Meh...  
  
***********************************************************************  
[Meanwhile... Trowa is hitchhiking on the side of the road holding a strange looking vial]  
  
Trowa:... ... ......... .... ...... ......... ........ .... ...... .. ....  
(translation: I like, need to get this top secret aphrodisiac junk to the lab, kay? It's like dangerous, kay? Exposure to it will like, turn you into some creepy, horny, nutcase, kay?)   
  
[The Wufeimobile approaches]  
  
Trowa: ........! ... .... .....!  
(translation: Dude! Like, stop, kay?)  
  
Trowa: ...... .... ....!  
(translation: C'mon, dude, stop!)  
  
Trowa: .... .. .!. .. ..!.... . !. .. . .. .!  
(translation: Stop! Stop! STOP!)  
  
Trowa: @#$& %$#&!  
(translation: none needed)  
  
[The Wufeimobile hits Trowa at a heavy whiplash speed. Trowa drops the vial, exposing its contents to the Earth's atmosphere. The Wufeimobile screeches to a halt.]  
  
Duo: *face plastered against the front window*  
  
Wu-fei: Kuso! Now I have to get that washed again.  
  
Quatre: Oh my GOD! Wu-fei, you just hit someone!  
  
Wu-fei: Yeah, and now I have to scrape those entrails off my brand new tires... INJUSTICE!!!  
  
Duo: ooooooooo... entrails... I'll help!  
  
Quatre: *shakes head* oye...   
  
[Suddenly, a mysterious unibanged man appears at Quatre's window. He's wearing a top hat and a tuxedo.]  
  
Tuxedo Trowa: Oh cherished flower, how hast thou ended up here, in such a crude, unbearable land?  
  
Quatre: *blink blink* what?  
  
Tuxedo Trowa: Come here little one, and I shall help you fight for your cause.  
  
Quatre: *steps out of car* Who... who are you?  
  
Tuxedo Trowa: The one who will always be by your side to make sure you never give up on love.  
  
Quatre: *thinks* Oh.... he's soooo dreamy....  
  
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[meanwhile...]  
  
Duo: *pointing at a puddle of some strange chemical* Hey, Wu-man, what's that?  
  
Wu-fei: I don't know but it reeks of injustice.  
  
Duo: *wrinkles nose* You can say that again.  
  
Quatre: Hey guys, I'm going to go fly away with Tuxedo Trowa. See ya!  
  
Duo: Have a great time Q-man...... What?  
  
[Suddenly, a red rose shoots down from the sky cracking the concrete road.]   
  
Tuxedo Trowa: *standing on top of the car* Come, Sailor Quatre, our destiny awaits.  
  
Quatre: Tee hee hee... I love it when he talks like that.  
  
[Duo and Wu-fei's jaws drop open]  
  
Tuxedo Trowa: Shall we go, Q-ball head?  
  
Quatre: Anytime you're ready.  
  
[Tuxedo Trowa picks up Quatre and jumps into the sky never to be seen again]  
  
Quatre: Oh, Tuxedo Trowa, will my friends ever be as happy as me?  
  
Tuxedo Trowa: If there's one thing I learned from that ultimate aphrodisiac I was carrying, it's that anyone who gets exposed to it gets laid in less than half an hour later.  
  
Quatre: Oh Tuxedo Trowa.... where are we going?  
  
Tuxedo Trowa: My place.  
  
***********************************************************************  
[Meanwhile.... In the Wufeimobile]  
  
Duo: 0.o You call *THIS* a little WuWu???  
  
Wu-fei: Little by my standards, baka!  
  
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End Note: heh heh heh... another batch of brain vomit is completed...   
REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW... PLZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ 


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